Girl Talk
by Moonlit-Ramblings
Summary: Snow wants to have some old-fashioned 'girl talk' with Emma (who has dragged Regina in via proximity and a desire not to suffer alone) and the conversation ends up more girl focused than mommy dearest expected. (vaguely tweaked) 3B AU


Girl Talk

Summary: Snow wants to have some old-fashioned 'girl talk' with Emma (who has dragged Regina in via proximity and a desire not to suffer alone) and the conversation ends up more girl focused than mommy dearest expected. 3B AU

Backstory Details: 3B AU, Sometime after Henry's memories have been restored but with Zelena still on the loose. No romance anything with hook or Hood. Everyone is living at Regina's big mansion because it's the easiest way to protect everyone. Neal is around and so is Rumple as Zelena's hostage, but no weird body sharing threat of death whatever. (The main danger is Snow trying to be helpful, but doing everything wrong and Regina trying to resist the urge to set her on fire.)

A/N: Meant to get this up yesterday, but a migraine showed up and basically put a stop to anything productive. I should, of course, be focusing on course work and yet this just needed a final edit to put up so here you go. Hope you enjoy!

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Emma was trying, in vain, to ignore her mother's subtle hints that they have a private talk in living room, mainly because there was only one thing she seemed to want to talk about these days: Emma's love life. She wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or just her mother's natural and overwhelming desire to be a matchmaker, but it was beginning to actually get on her nerves instead of just making her uncomfortable.

She had hoped that going into the kitchen where she knew Regina was cooking something, and would be there as a witness, might deter her mother, but it didn't seem to have worked.

In fact, now that it was obvious Emma wasn't going anywhere, Snow's eyes seemed to light up as if she could hit two birds with one stone—although most likely not in the way Emma wanted her to. She almost felt bad about bringing Regina into the madness. However, seeing as the older woman remained blissfully ignorant of the coming uncomfortable talk, Emma continued to instead merely think about how fantastic her ass looked in that dress and stare in a way that really should clue Snow in on who she actually wanted.

"So…" Snow began, her tone so falsely nonchalant that Emma winced and Regina stiffened by the stove. "Emma…" She was clearly trying for the good old days of 'Mary Margaret friendship', but she and her pregnant belly just came off as 'interfering mom who won't butt out'.

Emma sighed, propping her head up on her hand. She hoped that whatever Regina was making would be done soon. She needed some good food to balance out the train wreck this conversation was going to be. Maybe some sort of town emergency would call her away, she thought almost wistfully. Not that she wanted there to be an emergency of course, but it wasn't like hoping for one would actually make one happen and if one was going to happen anyway, it might as well happen at a useful time.

"Do you think you'll have any more children of your own soon?" Snow said, in such a casual, thoughtful, and sweet tone that Emma almost completely glossed over what she actually said.

Then it hit her. "What?!" She bolted up from the island, nearly knocking over her stool in the process. She stared at Snow as if she had lost her mind and it took her a second to realize she wasn't the only one who'd yelled. She glanced over to find Regina with some sort of fancy kitchen spoon in hand and an expression that was a cross between disgusted and outraged.

Snow looked back at them as if they were the ones acting strange. "What?" she seemed genuinely clueless and somehow that was worse than if she'd merely been pretending to be ignorant. "It's a simple question."

Regina seemed to regain her composure as Emma continued to stare uncomprehendingly at the younger brunette. Are they sure they were actually related to each other? Regina shook her head and said dryly, "It's not actually a simple question, Mary Margaret. It's only simple for you because you're a simple person."

Emma found herself in complete agreement, not having been remotely prepared for the very complicated and very personal question Snow just asked her, but kept it to herself at Snow's affronted expression.

"Well, it's been on my mind," she rubbed her hand on her pregnant belly, "And with Neal and Killian around," Snow continued and this was far more the direction Emma had expected. "I was just wondering if it was a possibility."

Or not. Emma stared. Snow couldn't possibly be suggesting what she thought she was suggesting. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm asking if you've been having, or might be having, sex with either of them and if you think you might want to settle down soon and have a real family with one," Snow blurted out. "Neal, for one, is…"

"Stop!" Emma finally all but shouted, her face going from bone-white to bright red in two point seven seconds flat.

Regina had gone back to a cross between looking completely horrified at the words coming out of Snow's mouth and like she might be physically ill. "Yes, please. Stop. And I never want to hear the word 'sex' come out of your mouth in my presence ever again. Understood?"

Snow opened her mouth like she was going to protest, but Regina looked a second away from threatening her with fireballs so she just pouted. Regina took that as capitulation and smirked.

Emma used this brief exchange to get her thoughts in order, only momentarily sidetracked by the sound of Regina's voice and the word 'sex' which was being mitigated by Snow saying 'sex' only a moment before.

"Snow, MM, Mom, whatever. Here's the thing, I need you to listen to me very closely." Because this had finally gone too far. She paused, making sure Snow was doing as she asked. She was and Emma almost felt bad for how she knew her next words were going to crush that starry-eyed look. Almost.

"I am not in love with Neal, or Hook, and I will never be in a romantic relationship of any kind with either of them." Snow opened her mouth, but Emma held her hand up. "I need you to let the idea go because it will not happen and all you're doing is confusing them, me, everyone, and giving them false hope."

"But…" Snow looked like her puppy just died. "But in Neverland you said you loved Neal!"

Emma sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, the stares from both brunettes in the room making her tense. "That was over a year ago," her voice was almost a whine before she managed to find her composure again. "I know I said that, but he was my first love. I'll probably always love him on some level, especially since he led to Henry. But not all of our first loves are our true loves, we're not all like you and David." Her look was pointed, but the point still more or less went over the head of her fairytale princess of a mother.

"And, even though it's none of your business," Emma's face turned a little pink. "I haven't been with Neal since before he sent me to _jail_." Even Snow had the decency to look ashamed at that reminder, "and I've never slept with Hook and I don't plan that happening, like ever, no matter what he thinks."

Snow did look put off by Emma's honesty and she let herself hope that maybe she'd finally leave this alone. The blonde was deliberately not looking in Regina's direction to see what her reaction to all of this was. Then Snow met her eyes again and that damned shiny-eyed look of hope was back. "I just want you to be happy Emma and think how cute it would be for our kids to play and grow up together, like a real family and—"

Emma held up her hand, looking as if she was in pain, "Just stop alright. To be honest, I don't plan on giving birth to any more kids, even Henry wasn't planned. I haven't wanted kids like that since I was a kid and that hasn't changed, even now."

Snow looked shocked by this further news, upsetting her white picket fence daydreams. Emma finally dared a glance at the older brunette who was watching her with sharp eyes. Emma didn't see judgment in the dark brown depths though and that soothed her. Regina gave her a small nod and turned back to the stove. Emma went to find something to drink while Snow processed.

The blonde felt a small shiver of warmth when she realized she knew where all the glasses were in the brunette's kitchen. She pushed the feeling of home into the back of her mind because that led to hope and wishing for things she knew she couldn't have.

It was just so hard to stay realistic these days, what with them living in the same house. Emma knew it was mostly for Henry's benefit and Snow's baby's protection that Regina had allowed Emma, Snow and David into her home along with Henry once his memories had returned. Emma was grateful not only because that apartment was way too small for them all to go back to living in together (especially after the debacle with the broken bathroom doors), but also because, well, it meant she got to live with Henry and Regina, almost like a real family (although her vague daydreams had never included her parents living with them).

The close quarters made it hard for her not to get caught up in her feelings for the older brunette. Especially when coupled with how well they'd been working together and getting along. Even parenting Henry as a unit had been working out pretty well. And there were times, when they were talking in the den, late at night, having a drink, that Emma could almost swear Regina returned her feelings.

"Emma, honey," Snow had managed to find her voice. Her tone made Emma bristle because it was not the tone one uses when talking to a fellow adult, it was the tone one used when addressing a particularly slow child. "I know your life was difficult before, but now you have your family back and you don't need to worry about the things you used to. It's okay to believe in having your own true love and family. And you're older now so settling down is the right thing to do. Think about yourself, think about Henry."

Emma instantly angled her body towards Regina, feeling the older woman's magic automatically respond to the perceived threat. The blonde placed a comforting hand on the brunette's arm, her eyes meeting furious brown ones. She tried to send her a look that was a combination of 'I know she's wrong' and 'let me handle this' and 'trust me'. She wasn't sure if Regina understood, her eyes searching, but then she seemed to lose some of the tension in her body, her magic calming, and she gave a small nod of understanding.

Emma sighed and closed her eyes, trying to think through all the things that are wrong with what Snow had just said. There were just so many places to begin. Emma took another deep breath before she turned around so she didn't say something she would regret. Well, at least so she wouldn't say something that would hurt Snow's feelings, she wasn't sure she would actually regret it.

"You still don't get it. It doesn't have anything to do with any of that. Sometimes life just doesn't work out. Sometimes you don't feel like that way about anybody. Sometimes you have feelings for someone who doesn't return them. And none of that has anything to do with my feelings about having kids. And don't even think about bringing Henry into this. Henry has two mothers who love him and he's fine with how everything is. I could marry my true love tomorrow and I still wouldn't want to get pregnant."

"That's only because Henry doesn't know what he's been missing!" Snow failed to understand the magnitude of the dirty looks both women give her at the implication that they don't know what's best for their son, and furthermore, that Snow _does_. "And at least Regina is on the right path!"

"What?" The pair seemed to be particularly in sync today as they stare at Snow in mutual confusion.

"What in the world are you talking about, dear?" Regina asked despite knowing she wouldn't like the answer, not with the direction the rest of this conversation had taken.

"Robin," Snow supplied happily. "Tinkerbelle told me all about how he's your true love! I'm so happy for you two. I knew you were right for each other even back when we first met him back in the Enchanted Forest. And his little son is so cute too. He'll get to have a mother again and you can finally have your own family!"

Now it was Emma's turn to look nauseous. Sure, she'd known Robin was helping them out, especially since a number of his band that had been transformed into flying monkeys. And yeah, she knew he was friendly with Regina and the kid was cute, but she hadn't heard anything about them being together, let alone true loves. God, it was bad enough when she just thought Regina didn't return her feelings. Now she was going to have to watch her go be happy with someone else.

Emma was so busy lost in her own thoughts she didn't notice how still Regina had gotten. "Did Tink say all of that? To you?" Now Emma did look up because Regina was using her 'so calm she must be pissed' voice.

Snow merely smiled, "Yes! And I'm just so happy for you."

Regina sighed, "I'm afraid Tink is rather behind in the times, dear." At Snow's confused look, Regina continued, "Robin is not my true love."

"What?" Snow asked, shocked. Emma tried to squash her hope at those words. "But she told me she used pixie dust to find him and—"

"—and pixie dust is never wrong. Yes, I know, so she's mentioned—repeatedly." Regina sighed again. "Tink did that spell for me years ago, _decades_ ago. I had, had fallen. From my balcony at the castle," Regina looked distinctly uncomfortable and Emma had a sinking suspicion as to why. "Tink saved me with magic. I ended up telling her about my problems and how unhappy I was. The next thing I know she insists that the solution to my problems was to go find my 'soulmate' and run away with him."

Emma nearly rolled her eyes at the solution, hadn't Regina been married to the fucking king at that time? And hadn't her love just _died_? That really didn't seem like the right time to go find some other dude and hope it would make everything better. It did seem consistent with fairytale logic though. She could see Snow was eagerly lapping up the tale.

"She dropped me off at some tavern, the dust pointing towards a man with a lion tattoo and told me to go be with him." Regina shook her head at the absurdity of it all. All she'd wanted was a friend, not a matchmaker.

"What happened next?" Snow asked.

Regina gave her a look, "Obviously I did not go meet him. I didn't even go into the tavern. There are a number of reasons I didn't, but that was why Tink was so angry with me. Apparently, Blue had told her if she did this spell for me and I didn't follow her advice, she'd take Tink's wings away."

Snow frowned, sad that Regina didn't do what she obviously saw was the right choice. Emma was more confused about why Tink was mad at Regina instead of Blue for being such an unreasonable bitch.

"I do not regret not going to him then because then I wouldn't have Henry, nor would he have Roland or have been with his late wife," Regina stated firmly.

"But why can't you be together now?" Snow asked.

"Because, pixie dust or not, I don't have any romantic feelings for him. I do find him easy to get along with, or at least easier than most people, but a tattoo is no reason to get married. I told him the story as well and he agrees with me. I also researched the spell and any number of things could have interfered with it. Notably, that if you do not have a true love, it simply finds the person you're most compatible with within a certain distance. All manner of other things could have gone wrong too, including Gold or Blue tampering with the spell for their own purposes."

Snow was frowning, but she clearly wasn't convinced. "Surely, you might come to love one another. Perhaps you just haven't given it enough of a chance."

Regina was shaking her head, "No, I know my own heart and desires. He is not who I want. I haven't gotten around to talking with Tink," Mainly because she'd been avoiding that conversation, not wanting the argument that was sure to develop, "although obviously I should if she's been going around telling _you_ of all people."

"Hey!"

Regina merely smirked at the predictable response. "You'll simply need to accept that we don't all ride off into the sunset with our true loves as the universe bends to ensure our happiness."

"I just want you to be happy," Snow was verging on whining now. "Both of you." She turned to gaze at both women in front of her as if they were unruly children who refused to eat their vegetables. Neither appreciated it. "Are you sure there's no one you have feelings for, Emma?"

Emma hesitated just long enough for Snow to notice. Her eyes light up and Emma immediately began cursing silently to herself. She'd forgot that one of the main reasons she'd not been so blunt with her mother before was that the two guys were a good smokescreen to distract her mother from finding out the truth.

"I knew it!" Snow exclaimed, even though she clearly hadn't. "Who is it? Is he nice? Do we know him?" Then her face dropped. "Oh, is he back in New York? Is that why you'd been planning on going back? Is this about your fiancé?"

It was Emma's turn to sigh and scowl. "He was never my fiancé. He was just a boyfriend and evidently I didn't like him as much as he liked me seeing as I turned down his proposal. I had wanted to go back to New York only if Henry hadn't remembered because of how dangerous it is here right now."

"Then is it a different guy from back there?" Snow was like a dog with a bone.

Emma felt her patience fraying and so she snapped without thinking. "I never even said it was a guy." She regretted it almost instantly. One glance at Snow's flabbergasted face assured her that no, she really did say that out loud. A peak out of the corner of her eye told her that Regina looked mildly surprised, but not at all judgmental or on the verge of fainting as Snow appeared to be, which Emma found made her feel more confident.

"You can't!" Snow blurted out and Emma's face instantly hardened.

"Why not?"

"Because you're a princess!"

"What?" Emma deadpaned, having no idea what one had to do with the other.

"Royalty must marry and produce heirs, you cannot be, be…"

"Gay?" Emma asked with raised eyebrows. "Isn't that nice? Thought you were all about love, _Mom_."

Snow instantly flushed, "It's not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just not something you should be pursuing."

Emma stared at her, wondering if she really was that oblivious. Another side glance showed Regina's own raised brow of skepticism so it was probably not a fairytale thing. Just a Snow thing. Wonderful.

"Well," Emma drawled, "Obviously I've dated men, and I already have a kid. I just date women too. And it's not like I plan on "ruling" anything so, why should it matter?"

Snow's face remained flushed, but clearly it was her own personal discomfort with the topic that was her main issue. She tried to backtrack, "I just had no idea. It's not very common back home. No one that I knew or had heard of—" she tried to justify

Regina interrupted her with a loud scoff, "Oh, please. I know I bemoan your naiveté often, but this is rather more than I expected."

"What?" Snow protested. "I don't!"

"What about Queen Alyssa and Lady Isabel?" Regina asked, in a superior tone.

"What of her?" Then she got the implication. "But she was married! To King Ferdinand!"

Regina rolled her eyes and turns to Emma, who had no idea who either of them are. "A famous woman who ruled a century or two before our time was Queen Alyssa. While she was in fact married to Ferdinand, and had a child by him, it is also widely known that her lover, and widely suspected true love, was Lady Isabel, her grand chancellor. Ferdinand had little power or influence and it was really the two women who ruled, and ruled well."

"Well, yes," Snow admitted. "Everyone does know he had little to do with Alyssa's success, but I thought she and Isabel were simply best friends. And Isabel was married too!"

"Yes, to Alexander, who happened to be 'best friends' with Ferdinand," Regina responded, voice heavy with insinuation.

While Snow didn't follow, Emma immediately got the implication. Her eyes widened, "Seriously, they like married another gay couple? That's kinda ingenious."

Regina nodded, "Precisely. Producing heirs and keeping the royal bloodlines pure was indeed important, but people, especially monarchs, tended to get their own way. It was an arrangement that worked out well for Alyssa and all others involved, at least."

It was Snow who spoke up next, "I was never told that, I don't remember—"

"That's because the insinuations were so obvious a child could grasp the truth, even if you didn't. It's not just official arrangements like that." Emma listened as Regina continued her surreal lesson about homosexuality among the royalty of the Enchanted Forest. "It was also common for those so inclined to keep mistresses or consorts on the side, just as heterosexual royalty did. Sometimes royalty was even encouraged to, to have others of the same sex on the side because it greatly lessened the chances of bastards and accidental pregnancies."

Snow looked positively scandalized which Emma's pretty sure was half of Regina's goal in the first place. "Among lower classes, it was stigmatized in some places, as minority cases tend to be, but for the most part it was hard to argue against in a land where you can prove true love. There was rather large town in fact, which was predominately nontypical romantic arrangements and people, a safe haven of sorts where people either lived or went to for protection. Popular destination for people who wished to drop off babies. Very prosperous."

Emma was nodding, "Cool."

Snow suddenly seemed to connect two thoughts, "Is this why you don't want any more children?"

"Not exactly," Emma told her, "Although it is a contributing factor at the moment. And technically I never said I didn't want more children—just that I didn't want to physically have them."

Snow still looked confused, but it was Regina who clarified. "You wish to adopt, don't you?"

Emma nodded and there was clear understanding in the brunette's chocolate eyes. Still the blonde explained for her mother, "After spending so much time in the system, I decided when I got older that it would be stupid to have kids of my own when there were already kids out there who needed parents. My reasons have changed as I got older but…"

Regina finished Emma's thought in her head _"I want to do for someone what I wished someone would have done for me."_

"Oh," Snows said surprised, "Well, that's something to think about I suppose." It was very clear to everyone in the room that this conversation had gone so far off the track she'd expected it to follow that she had no idea what else to say. Suddenly a large yawn erupted from the pregnant woman. "I think, I think I need to lay down." She got off the stool and winced. "And perhaps go to the bathroom."

She tried for a smile, and it wasn't a bad attempt. "All I want is for you to be happy." She patted Emma on the arm, "I'm glad we had this talk, Emma." Then she sort of waddled out of the room leaving behind to very relieved women.

Emma practically sagged against the fridge with relief. "Thank god."

Regina chuckled, "Quite."

Emma sat back down on her stool, "Sorry for dragging you into that, the hormones have been making her pretty…pretty crazy lately."

Regina shrugged, "If you say so, she seemed just as sane as she always did."

Emma rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Hopefully, she'll leave me alone about that kinda stuff for at least a day or so."

"Yes, well, she's nothing if not stubborn. I wouldn't count on it," Regina replied with a smirk.

"I don't know," Emma hedged, "I think that conversation might have ended up at least half as awkward for her as it was for me. She definitely regretted asking at least some of her questions."

Regina raised an eyebrow, "I suppose. I certainly would rather she kept her inane opinions to herself. Honestly, she has no sense of propriety."

Emma just laughed, "That's one way to put it, I guess. I just wish she wasn't so…"

"Absurdly optimistic?"

"Yeah," Emma agreed with a grateful smile. "I'm sure once the hormones wear off, she'll start trying to set me up with any single person she stumbles across so I can live 'happily ever after' just like her and David." Regina seemed to be the only other person in this house who shared her more realistic view, seeing as David was almost as bad as Snow and Henry's still a kid. "So how do you know all that stuff? I'm guessing it wasn't part of the standard curriculum."

Regina leaned back against the counter, watching Emma slyly as the blonde got up to refill her glass but didn't return to her seat. Instead she choose to lean against the island across from Regina herself. "The pieces about the royalty and noble classes is fairly common knowledge, among the upper nobility at least, regardless of what Snow thinks."

"And the rest?" Regina's attitude was fanning the flames of her hope when it came to Regina's own feelings for her, making her impossible dreams seem a little less impossible.

Regina simply rolled her shoulders, but her smirk grew rather satisfied, "One of my chambermaids informed me."

"Oh?" Emma was quick to catch on. "Really? And how well did you know this chambermaid?"

"Quite well," Regina's tone was casual, but the look in her eyes was borderline predatory.

Emma couldn't help, but let out a laugh, "I bet you did."

"Yes, well. What can I say? When one dressed as I did, one was bound to get attention."

"Uh-hm."

"And I happen to be rather, open-minded, myself," Regina added with a wink before turning around to attend to something on the stove as a timer went off.

Emma tried to tell herself that just because Regina was telling her she had been involved with other women right after Emma revealed that same fact about herself, didn't mean she was necessarily trying to send Emma a message. But it was a hard sell.

She tried to find the bravado to push the issue. To find out once and for all if she was completely delusional when it came to the older woman. Instead, she shook her head—doubt getting the better of her as even alcohol wasn't enough to chase it away, so why did she think she'd be able to take any sort of leap sober—and she sat back on a stool.

She was still staring at her glass, oblivious to the sigh she let out and that Regina's eyes now rested back on her. Regina spoke, "So, is it a general secret? Or just from your mother?"

Emma looked up, confused, "Huh?"

"The…" the brunette searched for the right phrasing, "current object of your affections," she choose with a teasing eyebrow lift.

Emma snorted, "I think my parents have been here way too long if you're saying things like that." Regina tried to scowl, but ended up just rolling her eyes. Emma continued earnestly, her eyes going wide, "No, really, better watch out. Soon you'll be professing your never failing ability to find, er, I guess not Robin, but, you know, someone." She lost coherency at the end and so Regina mainly looked exasperated instead of annoyed.

"Well, I'll be sure to stay vigilant. You're dodging the question," she pointed out.

"Well, yeah. I'm not good with, you know, feelings and stuff." Emma was flushing lightly as she responded because, while what she said was definitely true, the real problem right now was that she was talking to the person she had "feelings and stuff" for.

Regina nodded, "Neither am I. You don't have to answer." It was said casually, but Emma saw the sincerity in Regina's brown eyes, saw that she didn't want to put any pressure on Emma and the blonde was grateful. Regina never pressured her to be anyone other than Emma Swan.

"I know, everything's just all complicated." She took another sip of juice as she made a vague hand gesture, obviously referring to curses and amnesia and witches with vendettas. "It's not like, a secret secret. I just…haven't told anyone. Well, technically at least," her expression turned shrewd, "I think Ruby knows. Nosey little werewolf-waitress."

Regina chuckled to hide her surprise. Ruby had been a strong contender in her mind for who this might be. She tried to suppress the wave of confidence the knowledge gave her as it whittled down the possibilities. "I wouldn't be surprised. I doubt having her improved senses back would hinder her already considerable gossip gathering skills."

"True. I guess I feel like now probably isn't the best time to 'confess my feelings' and make an idiot of myself." Regina arched a brow in response to that last part and Emma winced, "Can we please pretend I didn't just give you an opening like that?"

"I suppose I can let it go this once," Regina allowed. "I would be more inclined to do so if you simply told me who you have developed feelings for—although perhaps I should simply be grateful it is neither the sperm donor nor the pirate."

"Ha, ha, very funny. Like either of them really stood a chance."

"Really?" Regina leaned forward at the implication. "In that deep? Or for that long?"

Emma blushed, "No. Maybe. Shut up."

Regina laughed, "Relax, my dear. I certainly have no leg to stand on in this conversation."

Emma ignored the way her heart skipped at the possessive "my" added to Regina's traditional "dear". "Really? Do tell. Does Madam Mayor have a crush?"

Regina scowled, "I would never use such a juvenile term."

"Of course," Emma said, mockingly. "Who's the apple of your eye, then?" She waggled her eyebrows for effect.

Regina couldn't help, but laugh at the ridiculous face. "I think I prefer 'crush' to _that_."

Emma shrugged, "Well, how should I know? You're the one who's obsessed with apples."

Regina rolled her eyes, "Regardless, I certainly can understand not wishing to discuss your romantic ambitions with Mary Margaret. I certainly don't wish to. I don't know what Tink was thinking, speaking to her about anything."

"Yeah, especially since she was wrong, right?"

"Correct. Robin Hood is a good man and Roland is adorable. But I already have a son. And the man smells like forest," she added, wrinkling her nose for effect. "I went to a great deal of effort to get away from the forest and to a world where there's indoor plumbing and the internet."

Emma laughed, "At least he doesn't smell like fish."

Regina wrinkled her nose, "Thank goodness for small mercies."

"So, correct phrasing and forest dwellers aside, do you have someone you're interested in?" Emma couldn't keep the question in.

Regina eyed her sidelong, "As a matter of fact, I do." Emma tried to suppress her hope for what must be the fifth time in the last twenty minutes, but it seemed to be less and less effective each time. "I have been trying to…ascertain…if they return my feelings." The brunette shifted closer to the blonde, who already had her back against the countertop, trapping her on her stool as she eyed her under lowered lids.

"Really?" Emma's voice may have come out higher pitched than she meant for it. She coughed before continuing in a more normal tone of voice. "How's that working out for you?"

"Frustrating. I cannot seem to get a straight answer," Regina's eyes twinkled in a way that suggested she might be aware of a play on words. Her eyebrow raised, "You?"

"Oh!" Emma swallowed. "Yeah. Same. Mixed signals." She looked down, before looking up shyly, "You know, I have heard that just asking is a good plan."

"I see. I have heard that as well," she frowned, as if contemplating the idea. "I do enjoy the direct approach."

Emma opened her mouth, unable to keep herself from continuing their banter, only to be cut off by Regina's red lips, one of the older woman's hands on her cheek, the other on her shoulder. She made a muffled noise before giving into the kiss whole-heartedly.

Regina drew back briefly for a breath of air, allowing Emma to mutter a faint "thank god" and pull the older woman back against her. This time it was Regina's quiet laughter muffled by Emma's soft lips which soon gave way to far more pleasing sounds, warmth suffusing both of them. All of Emma's back-and-forth guessing and doubt were silenced as she gave herself over to the woman she was kissing, allowing the blissful feeling that they were the only people in the world to fill her mind.

While Regina had been fairly confident in the response she would get to her kiss, she was relieved she had been correct. The blonde's slightly delayed, but enthusiastic response, her tight grip on her hips, as if she couldn't bear the thought of the brunette any further away were all very helpful in keeping her confidence high. Regina shared her frustration at the minute distance still between them and so she pulled together enough stray thoughts from the pleasurable haze they had devolved into to pull Emma to the edge of her stool and encourage the blonde to wrap her legs around her waist.

At first Emma didn't notice what the older woman was doing as all of her attention was on the deep, languid kisses they were exchanging, but once she did, she hurried to draw her as close as possible. Emma's hands moved up Regina's back, tightening as her arms wrapped more fully around the other woman. Both let out moans as they pressed even closer, chests and abdomens tight against each other, hands wandering everywhere.

Regina was still being held in place by Emma's legs when a timer began beeping loudly on the stove and they pulled apart, panting. Emma pouted and had to hold back a whine as Regina reluctantly pulled out of her embrace to take whatever was on the stove off before it burned.

Her disappointment was quickly turned back into delight as Regina immediately returned to her, this time pulling the blonde's legs together before jumping into Emma's lap, hopefully to continue with her new favorite activity. One of her hands buried itself in long blonde locks as she'd wanted to do for what felt like forever and the other rested on Emma's shoulder for balance.

Emma's hands gripped her hips, as if she was worried Regina might try to leave again, thoroughly enjoying the warm weight of the other woman in her lap. Regina gave a positively deadly smirk as she straightened, looming over the blonde. "Still receiving mixed signals, Em-ma."

Emma groaned in response to the huskier than usual voice, "That is so not fair." Regina's smirk simply widened.

Emma narrowed her eyes before adopting a faux innocent expression, "You know, actually, I _am_ still a little confused. Maybe you should," she paused to lick her lips and watched as Regina's eyes tracked the movement, "clarify your position."

Regina's eyes positively blazed in response, pupils dilating as she took in the blonde below her. "Hm. My _position_," she stressed, rolling her hips and causing Emma to groan, tightening her hold on the brunette. "Very well." She leaned down, hair falling forward as she angled Emma's head up, the gentle tug sending pinpricks of sensation through the younger woman. "Wouldn't want any misunderstandings, would we?"

-/-

A/N: Longer than my last one-shot. This has been slowly written for at least a few months (you can generally tell when I first got an idea by when it is in the show timeline) and I'm glad to have finally finished, edited, and posted it. Not supposed to be that serious, mostly for the fun and fluff. Next thing I post will be Chapter 15 of Swan and Witch. No sooner than the 21st but hopefully no later than the 1st. That's really all I can say in terms of time estimates.

Thanks for reading and extra thanks to everyone who favorites, follows, and reviews!


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